You.

When I thought of future

I thought of you

All the great things we could do

You said you’d follow me wherever I go

You said we’d live together

You’d work, I’d go to university.

Now you’re gone I feel alone

Even though technically I’m not alone

After thinking as one for so long

Now just thinking as half just feels wrong

Suddenly I don’t feel so strong

And I’m scared.

I remember lying in a field

Us lying under the dark sky

Waiting for that flash of light

And we wished upon a shooting star.

You said I was perfect and you loved me

Which is funny because about the same time a year later

When we were lying in the dark and saw a shooting star

You were too busy trying to convince me to let you fuck me in the back of your car

And that makes me wonder, when did things change?

Because for me it was more than a sexual attraction

Because for me it felt like more than a chemical reaction

Because when things got tough,

what got me through was at the end of the week I got to see you.

You used me and emotionally abused me

And I turned a blind eye pretending everything was fine

While you messed up my already messed up mental health

As I got worse you got more distant

The more I asked you to listen

The more you got resistant

Then when I thought of you I just got angry

Suddenly my mind cleared and I could actually see

Sometimes people can change very quickly

Sometimes people aren’t who they claim to be

But in the end you made me stronger

And made me, become me.