And it ends with WHY??

After breakup she was questioning herself…. it was like bucket full of cries and questions. she heard and observed you that your opposite sex type usually used to be half your size, totally skinny, very rich, and bad girl type but why you choose her when she was not your type? she was not submissive in nature nor she was so small to get inside your grip! why you choose her, out of love or just experimenting with new ones because you were just bored? why you told me that you love her from the day you saw her? she knew your love was not like filmy “love at first sight” but still you kept trying to be ideal by saying that you were her ‘Dreamboy’. Did you really felt some mercy in your heart when she was sleeping innocently naked after giving you her heart and soul? Do you really meant that hugs and kisses? Do you still feel revenge is more important than love? Do you accept that you cheated on me more than once? Do you accept that you are a narcissist, sexxist, disordered and phedophil person? Do you know the aftermath of those traumas and dramas that you did to her? Do you accept the truth that you were the one who pressurized her for telling fantasy stories? Do you still feel that your love was perfect in pictures and behind pictures? do you feel shame of your deed? did you felt the sirens when you came to know that both of yours love was dangerous? why did you pushed her off limits? she used to regret so bad. Why you ripped off her skin and made another person in herself that will not last? Why you banged her in sex when you called her “mumma”, why you acted like her daddy? Why you forced her to recall her pasts and convert her trauma into regretting and hurtful sexual fantasy? SHIT HAPPENS! and that’s what happen to her. She became dumb in love, lost after giving herself in his hands, numb to pain when he was around and screaming in pain when alone, became submissive and total puppet of him. Do you accept that you broke up with her in each and every moment to make her down, more submissive to master, took her self belief and faith? Do you realize what great shit you made out of both? She was filled with nicknames given by boyfriend but none of them sounds like real heartfelt name to her. Do you accept that you teared her faith by torturing on religious, financial, sexual, racial, caste topics? What kind of fun and entertainment you got playing with her so badly, acting so cold, hovering-idealizing-devaluing-discarding again and again?
Her head was spinning round and round until one day she stopped and felt numb to pains even though tears were gushing out flowing on cheeks, tears dried, her blurred vision stopped, hallucinations stopped, insomia stopped, begging for help stopped and all stopped like she holded the time and saw her little self coming and caressing her…..she felt stable but after few days….
Again that question came DO YOU STILL LOVE ME? But I hate you….BUT DO YOU  MISS ME? And it  all again ended with WHY?? And she sleeps in fear of getting in love again and falling ,trembling and giving her heart in love again……