Are You Just Letting It Be?

You're so tired of picking sides. Your friend's side, your family's side,the good sides, the bad sides  I mean really it doesn't matter anymore because the results have always been the same. No matter what evidence you have for your side that's backing you up, you can't win anymore. Not now, not ever! But why does this keep happening to you?  You literally can't think straight anymore; you've wound yourself up so tight, that one sudden realization will cast you into a mental breakdown. There's no where left for you to go. It's done and over with. You can't change what happened, but the countless nightmares keep coming back to haunt you. You are stressed out beyond belief, all you keep thinking about is why you even bother anymore. You wonder how you became this way, you don't understand how you ended up like this. Somehow, you're trapped inside a life you wouldn't wish upon anyone. Trudging along like a robot programmed to do what you're told, you feel those little sparks of rebellion. You don't know how capable you are at rebelling, but it's a tiny glimmer of hope. Hope, what exactly is hope? The four letter word with so much emotions attached. A word  most people normally overlook because they don't know what hope feels like; they haven't ever had any. They don't know that hope can make or break a person's life. If you are given false hope,  and you don't realize it...let's just say you would be living a life of denial... So you try to run away from it. Even though, your life isn't what you want, you're afraid of making it better. Your afraid of change. You want to experience so badly, but you can't face your fears. Your fears have been holding you in a place, that you're slowly losing a grip of it all. You want to go to sleep, and give up on everything you once worked ever so hard for...