Will My Heart Ever Beat?

I'm not sure why I can't feel happiness. It just doesn't stand out to me or make me feel good. People like me genuinely don't know how to be happy because we have never been happy, so we also don't know how to make others happy because we don't know what that should feel like. We are stuck in one deep, dark place with no where that we can go. We are often confused by others around us that pretend to be happy but don't have their life together because we don't understand how that works. Life is messed up, so why should they have a positive outlook and be super happy about it?

I don't know if I will ever get my heart to beat like it should, its like I don't have a heart...I mean, I never use it and I don't remember if I ever did. My heart beat faded away a long time ago and I wonder if it will ever beat again. I try so hard to be happy but I can't continue to put so much effort into this life that is genuinely not working out. Will my heart ever beat?