Free Spirits. To Drown By.
The " creme de la creme " always interested him. But, he was that type ! In, his mind was his lowly position, at birth, brought up in poverty. With, very little to go on, other than a " wing, and a prayer. "Ā The feelings of isolation in his youth, apart from meeting " Mary Lou Jenkins " in the shadows, kept him distant from reality. This, seemed a blessing. His need, for more, drove him to swear an oath, to progression. Rather than " Regression " which he felt could lead to uncompromising positions, to his disadvantage. But, he knew his place. And, wanted to set aside, trust and loyalties, to emphasize what was most important. In, getting the " choice cuts " in the editing room, of life.
In the wayward stance, he found his fortune, tested. But, to rich rewards. Those, aspiring to be somewhere, living it up for lack of time, and credibility, giving over their right to " taste " home comforts. Due, to being so work orientated. " In The Line Of Fire " he found a niche for himself. That, was clear. Eventually. To, benefactors who dispensed their form of " treat " with zest, and, at their best. He, rolled into one town after another making the most of what he was naturally suitable to do. Not really caring for reputation, or moderation. The extreme experience, in the presence of expertise, sharing " wealth " with consummate ease. Which, he appreciated whole-heartedly after what he had been through. Time, and time again. As, it, happens. Behind, the veil, of order.
The love of " The Good Life " then, and, there, produced by-products, which generated extra income. Away from the regular. In, the download " culture " he found himself a pre-requisite companion, to advertise " wears, and spares " ! Therefore, delivering to him more than he could have bargained for. Though, just enough to keep competitive elements, from his door. A sense of self-preservation within his profile accommodating best practice, in a small section, of " The Business End " of societies outcasts. Where, lending a hand to the vulnerable, by his definition, bore fruit. As others could never enjoy. Or, perhaps did not want to. For, the sake of family, and, usual restrictions, manufactured by the middle-ground, of politics, and economics. His, best foot was put forward, to enable the desire to be nourished, nurtured, and believed. As convention stifled.Ā
The practical affections, of those separated from their natural placement, gave everything he craved. Despite a pitiful start to his " journey " due to complications, beyond his control. In, the passing of time, therefore, he discovered more security than expected. More safety than he could wish for, in earlier years. Outcasts forming defences to maintain survival. When, forces of expedient greed came, searching for their share of profiteering. That, nuisance was diminished, by effective streaming. The " tactics " of the rational entrepreneur leaving no doubts as to whom was going to get what was, always, required. And, who was guaranteed not !
The " journey " was a steep learning curve. To be unexpectantly , embraced. The shifty glances of former days replaced by respect. Of, a certain character. One,who made ends meet, to bring " truth " into the equation. Rather than anything else. In, his skill-set was the sense of " home " and, what could be grown. To make more. As well as see himself fulfill maximum potential. Considering, his background. And, " Back-lot " mentality. The " quirk of fate " was kind. But, at a price ! He, realized justified his " career " ! Whatever, that, was deemed appropriate to name.
See, " Midnight Cowboy " or, " American Gigolo " ! Boogie nights, always, the best in town !
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Reads like a novel not a poem.Ā Kinda like Mobey Dick minus the skill; talent and brillianceĀ
" TUCKER. " You, are so, right ! I wish there were more like you. Honestly. You, sort, it, easily, separating the positive, from the other. Leaving no doubt of your credentials.Ā
I know my place. " I Am....meaningless. " Obviously.
Teach me, the ways of the world, as the sea, for sake of sanguine dream-states. Coming in, waves. Please, sense true applications. I, have to, learn. I, have to breathe. I, have to be " the real,me " ! Surely ?
Eat The, fat, of the " promised " land. You, deserve, all, you get. Shining light.
:) :) P.S. Voyage, of discovery, on-going. To, bring more....as, hope springs eternal.
I really pray for your mental health brother. GOD SPEEDĀ