I met this incredible robot!!!
He initiated contact and bleeped my language.
"May I come in and tinker?" He requested
"What for?" I asked
"I noticed you're on 'corrode mode'"
"What? Are you like a computer doctor or something?"
"Something like that."
So, I let him into my components. Which was very risky in hindsight.
Slowly, he started upgrading me from the inside.
I don't know how he did it but he seemed to bring forth new parts from out of thin air and eat away at the old parts as he went.
Once he was done with that, he left behind a CD and said, "Now you've had these upgrades in your hardware, you're compatible to run this program. I highly recommend it, but it's up to you."
I was apprehensive. I mean, it was one thing to be all new and clean and stronger and shinier within, but to change how my data is stored and managed? That's a big ask!
At first, I just let the CD sit there. But after all the changes to my hardware I started to feel awkward and uncomfortable with my old and slow way of processing things.
I knew that if I ran that CD, I would have to uninstall stuff too. I was worried that perhaps I would lose and be unable to retrieve the data that makes me 'me'.
I bleeped, "are you there Computer Doc?"
To my surprise, he was still there and bleeped back a "Yes my friend."
"What will happen to my data when I uninstall my current program?"
"Don't worry," he said. "I've backed up all your good data free from viruses."
To be honest, I felt a little bit violated. But at the same time, I knew that I did have a lot of viruses. And this 'corrode mode' thing was wearing me down. My system felt slow and heavy and I needed someone to come and put a whole lot of useless and irritating data into the trash bin.
I bleeped, hoping my owners would take notice.
There was no response.
I bleeped again.
Then I heard a voice,
"Hey mate! That dusty old thing is still on. You don't use it anymore do you?"
"Nah," replied another. "Maybe we should just toss it and get another one?"
"Good idea. Shall I unplug it at the wall?"
"Yeah, it's wasting power."
I started to panic. They were going to terminate me!
The idea came to me that maybe if I installed the new program they might realise I was still good.
I was getting desperate.
"Mate, the lead goes behind the book case. I can't be stuffed moving it to reach the powerpoint."
"Ah, leave it then. We'll deal with it later."
In all the panic at hearing those words I had accidentally started spinning the CD. I could hear it purring inside me.
My screen came on. UNINSTALL CURRENT PROGRAM TO RUN
I was hesitant but then I remembered that they were going to unplug me. My grief and anger at this thought compelled me to accept the proposal.
I hate that feeling of shutting down. I may as well be unplugged. But in other ways, the freefall is liberating and cathartic.
Once I was back up again, I felt so good! All my viruses were gone and the data that used to irritate me was safely trashed. I ran so smoothly; better than I had ever done before, even when I was brand spanking new!
Then I became aware of new parts inside me. They felt dynamic. Like really flexible.
I unfolded some component and it smashed through my unit!
"Whopse! Oh dear?"
It was so weird. The Computer Doc must have disconnected me from my old shell.
Wham! Out popped another new part. It was a robotic leg.
And so I continued, as I recalled the file with documentaries on bird life.
I was hatching baby!
Out I came through a messy deconstruction to see the Computer Doc standing there with a look of anticipation.
"Took you long enough," he said with a grin and sparkles in his eyes. "Let's go!"
"On a journey to our father's house."
He grabbed my hand and off we went.