Making a Difference.

" What, in hell's name, went wrong ? " Moreover, when does it ever look like going right ? In real terms, when fortune was invented I was last on the list to receive any ! Well, that is how it seems, up to the present day. But, I hold out hope of achieving the impossible, to find a resemblance of fate being in my favour. Through an event or occasion leading to consequences producing unexpected return. How good would that be ? Considering the past, and predicaments seemingly beyond my control.
You, must appreciate where I have been, and what has taken place....to recognize my condition. You, have to know the " CONDITION MY CONDITION IS IN " ! You see ! Without jumping to conclusions. As one jumps into circumstances too readily, to cause negative outcomes. A bit like, falling off a cliff, really !
I do not want you to misunderstand my plight. You clearly see. I feel, that, over my life, some mysterious force has attached itself to me. Only, with the intent of causing yours truly upset and worry. If not grief. In the " grand design " formed by so many over the centuries, my way seems hampered by barriers put there to raise amusing anacdotes, usually told in public bars, of a " strangers " undeniable " slice of bad luck " ! Why, this stranger should be me, I dread to wonder. Though, I have been tempted. But, have seen the light. Thank goodness. Who wants to tempt fate ? When, it already seems dead-set against you ?
I do not bemoan my position. Somebody has to take " the shit " ! Do they not ? It is based on the Laws of Probability. Surely ? The main requirement to accepting this, is to remain stoic and resolved to achieve better, despite anything and everything. Which may happen. And, does ! This condition has in fact brought unexpected results. Within myself. Far more than to " others. " I find my own happiness. Whenever and wherever I can. Even if people around me do not understand my approach or relationship, to the mysterious ( but, not to this soul ! ). I seem to live on a different planet, to them. Who do not face my ordeal. They, can not easily quantify, this. Or, that. When, it, goes against conventional theory or mainstream assessments of what is real. And, what is not. Understand ? I am confident you can.
My expectations are minimal, of getting anywhere " others " do. Why would, that, not be the case ? My belief system revolves around wishful thinking. And, deep prayer ! To allieviate worries. Why would that not be ? The sum of it all, points to the phenomenon of some negative response to my presence. How come ?
I can be nice. Well. I have always considered this so. And, some " others " agree. I assure you. As usual. Even though, it must be said, they, feel sorry for me. Treating me with respect. Do they think they are going to catch something, or " other " ? A tragedy, do you suppose ?
I do not seek sympathy. Why should I be defined, a curse ? When it is me affected. And, not those who view me, mainly, from a distance ! I comprihend this position. Now. The trials are over.
The plot continually thickens. With progression of time, plus associated vagaries. To be handled with such care, defies life's rules...and standard practice. Normal policy is rejected. Cast aside, for the acceptance of consternation shown by those " infected " by my spheres of influence. I feel, a subject, of interest. An anomaly. To be studied at will. For, the good of all.
How would you deal with, that ?