My Life in a Message

Imagine having ur brothers physically fight til blood and bones are broken or cracked, ur mom leaving everytime, being abused by ur own dad and any other male, having constant fear of being physically hurt, emotional abuse from everyone u have met, imagine having flash backs almost every night so bad that u wake up in fear, imagine always being in fear of ur life, always being neglected just because ur different, just because ur not their child, imagine waking up to ur scars everyday from abuse, looking at them and feeling the pain as if it just happened yesterday, imagine every person u loved, call u so many things in the book its unreal, imagine at 12 years old being called fat and starve herself to the point where she was in the hospital, imagine a child so much in fear that a mental hospital felt like home and safe, imagine being thrown and beat by someone u love, yes I have been thru a lot and it damages me, I dont tell a lot of people this because I'm afraid of being judged, I've dealt with this stuff my whole life..... I wake up everyday with this on my shoulders, i wake up everyday wanting to be happy but i cant get myself to be..... i try so hard to be better but I've been around the worst of the worst, it's hard changing, I'm sorry but this is what's made me. I am sorry I try so hard to chase perfection with broken legs, I just want to be accepted and now u know why I'm like this.......