Reasons Why I bleed (Intro)

Seraphina

“Seriously. Stop.” I said irritably. My hands clenching into fists as I took deep breaths. Kyle raised his hands over his head in surrender.

“Alright, alright.” He said cooly. “But my point still remains, abortion before telling your parents.” His sharp blue eyes flicked down to me where I strained not to hit him.

“I can’t just kill something. This thing has a life, Kyle. You wouldn’t kill Toby would you?” I said softly. Toby was Kyle's brand new puppy his girlfriend had gotten him for his birthday. His eyes narrowed at me as he dragged a sun tanned hand through his bleach blonde hair.

“Sera that isn’t fair and you know it. Toby is a gift from my girlfriend. He doesn’t scream, or grow up and talk back and he won’t get me kicked out of my house or ruin my relationship.” He crossed his arms and I sighed. I was growing more and more angry with the fact that I was comparing a baby’s life to a puppy. “Plus, Toby is already born and out of the womb of his mother. That thing,” he paused to wave a hand at my stomach, “doesn’t even know what’s going to happen.”

I threw my arms up in frustration and sighed angrily. “That thing, is a baby. A child. It could be the next Einstein or something and we won’t know, because I killed it. I won’t do it, Kyle. Not. Doing. It.”

“Okay, Sera, but just remember, when you’re living on my couch eating pickles and ice cream all alone because Grant left and your parents kicked you out, I told you so.” He shrugged and the conversation ended right as the rest of our friends came and sat down next to us.

Ashlee sat down next to Kyle, happily chattering about her aced final exam she’d just gotten back, completely oblivious of the tension between Kyle and I. Her olive green eyes lit up as Kyle complimented her. She squealed and flipped her brown hair behind her, only to let it fall back around her shoulders. I watched her quietly as I felt a set of strong hands wrap around me and a pair of rough lips press against my neck.

“Hi, Sera.” Grant said as he slid himself next to me at our table. I nodded casually towards him and smiled. Grant was a wrestler, and an excellent one at that. He was the total stereotype of jock. Dumb as a bag of rocks, but handsome. Which is probably why he and I ended up together. I never really was one to make good choices and as Taylor always told me, my bad choices were always exhibited onto the guys I dated. Grant was 6’4 and completely built, he had critical grey eyes and dark brown hair hardly ever touched by the sun due to his constant need to wear a helmet for various sports.

He slipped an arm around my waist, sliding me to him. He smelled like a new cologne that I knew I hadn’t bought him and mint. I turned my head up to face him knowing the mint scent meant. He pressed a hard wet kiss against my lips and pulled me up to him. I kissed him back waiting for it to be over. I always felt bad, but I hated kissing him. He was a horrible kisser and everyone that had ever dated him knew it. He was always one to bully people into silence about what he was bad at so of course, getting into a relationship with him meant that you found out how bad at things he really was.

He let me go and I smiled at him brightly, knowing he wouldn’t be able to tell I didn’t mean it. He and I met at a football game two years ago when I fell off the bleachers and he and a group of other guys came to my aid. Even then he didn’t know I wasn’t okay. He’s never been one to know when things aren’t right unless it’s affecting him.

Everyone chatted around me as I reminisced on all the times he actually noticed something was wrong and suddenly felt an urge to leave the table. I excused myself and Grant shot a look at me that said I’d better explain myself later. I tensed, remembering the child inside of me and prayed he wouldn’t aim for my stomach.

Quickly, I shot out of the cafeteria keeping my head down and trying to swallow the nausea building inside of me. Halfway down the hall I fell to the floor after what felt like walking into a wall. I looked up from the floor to see a dark shadow leaning over me. I swallowed and smiled weakly.

“I didn’t know you wanted to come to.” I said defeatedly. Grant chuckled softly and held his hand out to me.

“You know better than this, Seraphina.” He said so quietly I wasn’t sure I’d heard him right. I scooted myself further away from him and tried to back myself up against the wall.

“Sweetheart, don’t make a scene at school. J-just wait until we get home. Please?” I knew that by asking this it would only get worse if he did wait, but there wasn’t anyone around so of course, he wasn’t going to wait.

“I won’t make a scene. You’ll just learn your lesson, leaving me like that for no reason. Tsk tsk, Sera.” With that his leg connected to my side and I bit back a sob. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. Please God, if you’re out there, let this end soon.

Another kick to the side.

And another.

Help.

Michael

“What do you want me to do, mom?” I sighed into the phone, tiredly.

“I want you to make the right choice.” She said snappily.

“Mom, your choice doesn’t make it the right choice.” I said, as I’d said before more times that I could count.

I am a nineteen year old college student who moved three states over to go to college. My mother wants me to come back home where it’s supposedly safe. I’m from Detroit. It’s not safe. Now, I go to Berkeley in New York and my mother is not happy. She calls at least once a week to remind me that I’ve made the wrong choice. After an hour of trying to coax her off the phone, the line goes dead and I rub my temples.

I wanted to come to New York as a criminal justice major, and my mother seemed to support the major. Just, not the location. I shook my head and stood up from my bed to get ready for work. I worked at a small diner in the middle of New York City and it took ten minutes to get there on a good day, and I only had fifteen minutes to get there. I rushed to get ready and fell into the floor before managing to get my pants on completely.

Way to go, Michael. I thought to myself irritably before I got off the floor and rushed out to the nearest station.

I slowed as I neared the station, a couple walking in front of me. They looked around the same age as me, but the backpack hanging off the guy's arm screamed high school. The girl was limping slightly and the guy was leaning towards her as if to support her. I wondered what had happened and decided to pick up my pace around them before I decided to ask. As I passed I heard the couple talking back and forth, the guy sounded angry but the girl sounded defeated.

“Sera, why would you let them see us? Now people are going to ask questions.” He said irritably.

“Grant, I told you, I didn’t see them.” She paused, biting her lip, her dark brown eyes looking up at the boy, almost pleading with him. “I couldn’t have said anything if I’d wanted, and you know that.” She said miserably.

“Of course not, you’re useless.” He said huffily. I bit back the urge to step between the couple and watched as Grant slid his hand through his already ruffled blonde hair.

The girl's eyes were beginning to pool with tears and then I noticed her hand. He held her hand with a death grip and she didn’t seem to try to struggle away, she just took it. I could tell it was hurting her. Her auburn hair fell around her shoulders, hiding her face from me as she looked down at the ground. Separate them, you fool.

I shook away the thought and sped up, trying to hurry myself away from them before I listened to my thoughts.

“Grant” she paused, turning to look at me. She became silent and the boy glared at me.

“Is there an issue?” The boy asked, in a voice like ice. I smiled and shook my head, continuing to speed up my pace.

“Grant, I said I’m sorry. Okay?” There was silence behind me and I kept walking. Refusing to turn myself around, I kept walking until I was on the subway and took a deep breath.

I should have taken the girl. I thought, guiltily. I rubbed my temples as people joined me on the subway and mumbled to myself.

“God, if I don’t do anything else, let me save that girl.”