A Life to Live

I'm not going to be one of those people who say, 'New Year, New Me'. It's such a lost saying, I don't think I've seen anyone succeed in this deed for longer than a week or so. How many times do we find ourselves waking up in the morning with no motivation to go to school, or work or infact anything productive or creative? How many times do we find ourselves scoffing on crisps or cakes or drinking ourselves silly whilst we are supposedly meant to be on a diet or detox? How many times have we tried to avoid contact with previous friends or acquaintances? 'New Year, New Me' only exists in cosmetics.

We can change our image. But we are instinctive creatures. We want to be able to eat what we want. We want to relax. We want freedom. We know who we want to speak to and who we don't. We want to be grouchy at times and stupid and clever and even annoying. I don't think we will ever be able to reform the animal within us. We need to accept this.

Maybe this New Year, we should focus on quality of life. Not quantity.

One question I have to ask, which I think is an important question for everyone, for ourselves: Why does it take Birthdays, Christmas or New Years for people to be happy?

Why does it take a special occasion to bring family and friends together and enjoy each others company and enjoy life? We can do this whenever we want. But we don't realise it. We don't realise we can live. I know it sounds ridiculous. Most of you probably don't know what I'm getting at, but to the people that do, keep reading.

365 days of the year and how many do you remember of them? Don't think I am just talking to you, the audience, I am talking to myself and I know, at least 200+ was spent going to work (which is a standard office job, in which is attended purely for the monthly pay check) and going home to do nothing apart from eat or sleep. 60+ days would be going to work then going out in the evening to a meal or cinema or drinks with friends. My condition, 20 days minimum was spent ill and doing nothing. Which can't be helped. 15+ days of good holiday memories. Days I will remember! 15+ days of wasted holidays. 3 or 4 weekends, I won't forget. The rest of the weekends, most likely a blur from alcohol or just chill weekends.

I'm only going by rough draughts. But that's a lot of days I have achieved nothing apart from grow my nails. How many more years can I take before I regret my decisions? How many years can you take? For many, things don't change and they do live happy lives. Don't get me wrong, I know people who live their lives safely, comfortable and are happy people. But I know some of you are hungry for adventure. Hungry for change. I read your poems and you are creative people with extraordinary thoughts. Why contain them in a small environment? What is actually stopping us? For me, money is a major issue. But my Dad has always told me; 'Money will always be gained. Days will always be lost.' I never really understood, but he is right, we can't take back our days. Days are limited. But money is forever.

I promise I am getting to the message and my New Year resolution. I guess, what I'm trying to make out is. It's never too late to start living. People are so obsessed with society. We base our lives around media, celebrities, technology, careers, etc.
People have fallen out of love with living.

Something came over me this New Year, my views are different; Life is so so short to waste. We need to celebrate it. Make the most of it while we can, do the things we enjoy and forget everyone else. Because in the end, it is only ourselves. 1 person on 1 journey. Everyone else is just a passer by and occasionally you might find someone who wants to join your journey or who is heading the same way and you let them.

Don't let anyone hold you back from anything.

My New Years resolution is to be more selfish. It seems odd to word it that way, but I truly mean it. I don't see it as a bad word. I see it as being true to yourself. Being more selfish means I could achieve more; happiness, experience, friends, health, money, etc. Obviously, I won't go over the top and be a recluse. I enjoy giving, caring and treating. I was brought up that way and I do believe it brings me peace of mind.

The main matter is; I want to start living. The only way I believe which will help me get on that road is to be more selfish in my decisions. It may take a little while to get where I want to be, but it will be worth the while.

Thanks for reading my rant.