Thank You Notes(Jimmy Fallon Style, for Cosmo).

Author MZ's note: Yes, Mr. Fallon, I am kind of stealing your idea, but please don't sue me as I have about four dollars and twelve cents to my name, and you have 3 billion, six hundred and eighteen thousand, four hundred and seventy six dollars and twenty four cents to yours. Thank you. It's just a silly segment about this awful poetry site we are on where no one ever comments about your poems, and only cares about their own(no offense anyone). 

In case you don't know, Jimmy Fallon is a late night talk show host who does a segment of funny thank you notes he pretends to write to various things. It's quite amusing, unlike here. 

1. Thank you, 219 Viewers, for viewing my poem and not saying one single thing about it, and not putting the remarkable effort into clicking on the 'like' button. The effort to write the poem was certainly less than it would be to extend the mouse downward and press your finger down in a like, and I wouldn't want you to get a digit injury so you're not able to give the finger to other people's poetry. 

2. Thank you, AUTHOR W*******sji M******i, for putting a title in front of your name on a poetry site to try to make us feel as though we are all inferior beings and should have nothing to do with writing next to you. Also, for naming everyone of your poems AUTHOR W*******sji M*******i Writes, so we know you have created something and should drop everything we're doing and read it. Note: I wanted to change my screen name to PLUMBER M*****w Z*****a, even though I'm not a plumber, but I do like to take showers, which involves some type of plumbing, doesn't it? 

3. Thank you, Cosmofunnel, for including Manjoons on the list of selections we can write. It's a silly word, and no one knows what it is, so no one has ever written one, but we enjoy looking at it and thinking, man, this place is weird. 

4. Thank you, Marionette, for writing amazing poems in 11 seconds while I struggle for 13 hours to come up with a word that ryhmes with coccyx for my poem I Love Your Body! 

5. Thank you, Wedgies, for sneaking up on me while I'm writing and completely throwing me off track so my 14 second memory completely forgets the one line I came up with that was actually good! 

6. Thank you, Awful Feeling in My Stomach, for surfacing each time I post a poem, knowing that I have left out a word which makes it sound more like a Mad Libs comedy page rather than an ode to romantic love. 

7. Thank you, Poetry, for allowing me to make up words that sound correct to me but are nowhere near a dictionary, and for permitting my ridiculously bad spelling skills to be labeled as poetic licensing. 

8. Thank you, Scientists, for naming Monkeypox with a moniker eerily reminiscent of the movie Outbreak, where everyone dies a horrible death with blood spurting out of their mouths. 

9. Thank you, Writers On Cosmo Who Just Write Down What Their Day is Like, with no rhyming scheme or structure and call it poetry, as I have a shopping list I typed due to lack of paper, and I'm thinking of posting it. 

10. Thank you, Matthew, for creating something so unhumourousnessly(poetic license!) that we don't have to use the extra muscles in our face to smile, or have to expend the energy to type in that you're an idiot! 

11. And, finally, Thank you, Cosmofunnel, for coming up with a name for a poetry site which so accurately explains what writing and poetry are all about(a guy named Cosmo, and a cylindrical object used to pour gasoline into your empty tank), as I'm sure everyone who looks for a poetry site immediately thinks, I wonder if there's anything under Cosmofunnel??!!