Story -

The End.

The End.

He thought he was dead. He could be right. But, did not wish to think so. After all, who wants to be dead ? Everything appeared the same. However, he felt it was not ! Where and when had it all begun to change. In light of events, with hindsight, he referred to the dream. More, a scenario. This had affected him. As surely " as the day is long " !! 
The scenario was born of frustration, if it came from anywhere. The loss of control of his faculties did not encourage the " natural " ! That, was now clear. The deception, as it was deemed to be, led to these consequences. A thought-provocation torn between reality and fictional environment ? This, had to cease. That, just had to be true, if nothing else. If, it was not, where would he sit ? Where would he fit in ? Where would he feel at home ? There had to be resolution, to the " sum of all fears " ! The thought of anything else scared him. Senseless.
This was what he fell back on. For " crumbs of comfort " !! Envisaging your demise in the " eternal battle " had to cause this. That, must be the case. How was any other solution to his " change " possible ? How was any other reason for his troubles quantifiable ? The mind, was known to play tricks on you. This could happen to anybody. Right ?
He tried to perceive a transformation in himself as well as what was around him. And, failed once more. Never, had he seen this a problem within the parameters of his existence. All he knew before the sacrifice, on the altar of freedom, was stark conformity. With everyone's opinion. Of what was, and what should be ! Never had he foreseen anything different. But, now, it was manifest. There, in front of him. As clear as mud !! Dramatic, to the extreme.
This seemed appropriate in the " fog of war " !!
When would the mist lift. His unsettled manner causing associates to treat him in new ways. Which, he did not like. Frustration had led to anger, at the perception of this being the reward for " honest, and true " service to the cause. Of life. Why was there this ? To haunt him so. How could he again marry his worth with real circumstance and movements through time and space ? In that lay answers to his future well-being. And, plight. Which he hoped earnestly to improve. Through gradual elimination of detrimental factors to his " sanity " ! 
By figuring out " what the hell was going on " he could pull it off. Then, life would return, as it once was. Delivering what he was happiest with. And, used to. Then, peace could be enjoyed. Away from hindering accusations and insulting remark.
The " mind fuck " was recognized. He did not like it. At all.
He prayed for " deliverance " from what he now knew to be possible. To what had seemed virtually unrealistic. But, safe. That, at the very least, would be better than nothing. Was he " grasping at straws " ? He did not dare contemplate this.
That, was to be the end of it. Again.

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Gerard McGowan

I could definitely read more, a book perhaps? 

I've pinned this as I want to read it again, thanks for sharing.


Richard Waters

Just, moving along, at a steady pace. With others.
Thanks so much for your support, over the years. :)

Cherie Leigh

You are quite the story teller, Richard, and I can tell this one comes from a personal experience...I hate uncertainty in life...and that is what has been and I hope to change in the future....When motivation hits, it can just take off.  It is hard to face what our lives actually are...and it can hit hard.  Why do you think I love to live in fantasy in my poems?  Thanks for sharing. Lol   xo ;)

Richard Waters

Everyone hurts. Sometime.
If, you are true to yourself, others respect that.
If, you only deal in truths, you have support, to any end.
If, you live by a strict moral code, you are trusted, to any degree.
If, you care for others first and foremost, you have help when needed.
You, must live to learn. From the " school of hard knocks " ! :) You, then, with friends and family, rise to any challenge. Whenever and wherever, that, may happen.
Live in the moment and for the moment. Getting all you can from life !!
Take care, on the journey.
Love, to live. To get more from it.
X x X