Blind Date

So, I walk into the pub, I’m walking in blind
don’t know who I’m meeting
no idea, who I’ll find?
 
I’m not really even excited
Just wanted to be wined and dined
 
I walk over to the bar
I order a large G and T
I drink it in a second
a tap upon my shoulder
I turn around to see
 
the extra-terrestrial home coming
by gosh it’s the one and only E.T
 
now I’m no oil painting
but by-golly even Mona Lisa would have fallen off the wall
 
his head was shaped real funny
just like a rugby ball
 
as I stood staring, pretending I’m not me
playing with my thumbs
I hear the knocking of his knees
 
wishing that my gin and tonic
was a triple, and then filled with another three
 
trying hard not to look at this poor fellow
that looks just like, E.T
 
he wanted to have a conversation
but I wasn’t in the mood
I told him very politely
don’t worry sir...
your date, will be here soon?
 
so there he was having a moan
and me?
well I listened to him groan

now I know just why it’s better better, being alone
my last words to him were
 
 “here you go my darling”
 
you can borrow me phone.