21 Days Old

1:19AM, strange
He’s late for his feed
I lay quietly for a minute 
Listening to him breathe
 
It doesn’t sound right
Something is wrong
It’s too hard and loud
To laboured and long

I scoop him up
His skin is burning through his clothes
We go downstairs
What happened next? Nobody knows

All I remember is that time stood still
But the hours flew by
Before I knew it
He was in resus and I didn’t know why

The nurse praised me
For getting him there
But “we were just sleeping” I said 
And I collapsed in the chair

I cried and I cried
As I sat waiting to hear
Thinking the worst
Trembling with fear

“You can see him now”
I gasped for some air
Then I cried some more
You looked so small laying there.

I adore you
You bring me so much joy
I am so lucky and thankful 
For you, my littlest little boy