A DAUGHTER'S NIGHTMARE

'stay strong' they all kept telling me
i didn't know what was happening
i got worried and scared
as a kid i wasn't prepared for the news i was told
i was only 12 years old
i remember having a restricted time to visit my mum
my heart was sort of cold
sort of numb
i felt broken and sort of confused
not knowing if this was a life lesson
that i'd win or one i would lose
i never showed how i would feel
truth is i couldn't believe it was real
i felt like i would wake up and it would all be over
but it never ended.

i felt like i was lonley
almost as if i was under some sort of curse
i have these flashbacks which are so hard to explain
but they cause me so much misery and so much pain
endless trips to the same place
always had tears rolling down my face
the guards called my mums surname and the doors opened
i felt hopeless, nothing i could do
nothing that i could say, will make this story a little better
or this pain go away.
i could sit and tell you how hard it is to even believe i had a purpose
some days i used think that i was worthless
my mum broke my heart before anyone else had a chance
i was 3 years old when she turned her back on me
now i need to show her i'm going on in life without her
and be the best person i can be
i remember a letter i got sent, and one line
is permenently marked in my mind
"Sweet dreams angels, all my love. Mum x"