A male view

Guys not chasing girls, girls are chasing us

There’s no reason why, we need make a fuss

Clocks are always ticking, they want to procreate

That’s what gives us hope, of landing our next date

It always makes me laugh, when they call it fate

Rather than a decision, that was made in haste

The dating scene is dodgy, don’t know what to do

They say they like you, before disappearing to the loo

Then you’ve got the usual, catch twenty two

Really stunning but demanding, or lovely, but unattractive to you

So many awkward setups to find the right breakthrough

Until i’m down on one knee and not to tie my shoe

Now it’s your stag, last chance to be free

Although that’s not strictly true

You want more of that stripper than you see

Last party with the lads, getting boozy and lairy

They’re helping take your mind off, what seems quite scary

Convincing your cold feet, that marriage can be sunny

Walking down the aisle, you must see the light

Even her old man knows, she shouldn’t be wearing white

Grans awful happy, Grandkids not far away

As everybody has a great party for the day

Watching your new wife throw away the bouquet

On the best day of your life, you know what they say

Now that you’re hitched and far away

You can relax, on your greatest holiday

Life’s really great, staying by the sea

There’s nothing you could want for

Getting sex demand free

She’s always smiling and you know why

Must be all that working out, until we both run dry

Honeymoon is over, reality starts to bite

Now it’s houses, mortgages and all the other shite

She’s getting broody, you’re not so keen

Hold on what’s the rush?

Do you know what I mean?

We only just got married

Your bodies still nice and lean

All your finest swimmers made the job complete

Here comes the pitter, patter, of tiny feet

The world you once lived in, starts to retreat

They can be so noisy, for something so sweet

Smelly diaper changes in the summer’s heat

Although the mini you, makes you feel complete

Now we’re old and grey and don’t mention doing ‘it’ anymore

Even if I get lucky, it feels like a chore

No more crazy hormones, controlling what I do

The kids have all fled, what they left as a zoo

So many wasted hours and now there’s so few

My advice to the Grand kids is always right on cue.