Absent Truth

I cannot remember the calm before the storm, ever since that first dance with pain.

I cannot remember the love before the hate, ever since that first downpour of rain.

I remember perfectly how I felt, considering I have constantly felt the same exact way.

I remember perfectly what they did, considering I have constantly relived the same exact day.

Maybe, just maybe…
I could fathom what had took place.

Only, if only…
I gained the courage to look face to face. 

Beneath false comfort I have always strained, underneath this metaphorical umbrella I still remain.

Beneath fake love I have been restrained, avoiding this rain, but still soaking wet from my own tears.

Beneath found fears, I have buried myself, hidden from their hands, still just as afraid after all these years.

I cannot remember who I was, prior to the mental and physical abuse, or maybe, just maybe I’m still afraid.

Of what I would discover, if I searched hard enough for the bloody truth!