Always a tear in anger

I used to lie awake at night,
When I was too short to sight,
Confused, angry and most of all excited,
Wondering when I was getting invited,
I never used to ask,
Until it was time to take off the mask,
The laughter was never heard,
The cry's went unheard,
Only the smile was seen,
To him it was unseen,
His face is blurred,
His voice nothing but slurred,
But why should I be mad,
He's only my dad,
Never taught me how to catch,
Now i'm always wanting a match,
I got no birthday songs from him,
I learnt how to swim,
Why is it my tears run,
When there should be none,
I should be angry,
My tears flow when i'm angry,
He's the only one,
That can have this done,
I don't understand,
Soon my tears stopped on command,
My whole life I thought I knew him,
How come he don't want me,
I guess I will always agree,
He is my anger within a tear.