Cash strapped despondent citizen banker

the yeast you could do
for a crusty and crabby old man,
(who I know
like the back of my clawed hand),
albeit well bred wordsmith doth wonder,
whose person analogously baited
courtesy being at the receiving end
of one after another phishing schemes
whereat identity thieves stole
loot linkedin with checking account
making out like Smokey and the Bandits
appellation Matthew Scott Harris
whose finances compromised and rent asunder,
hence, he desperately needs
for peace of mind to bolster meager funds
by hook or crook
scaring up dough or bread
cuz he doth really knead
to get himself out of the red
even in an attempt to garner pocket change
courtesy when a Facebook messenger
did send him (meaning me) Zelle provisions,
he (I) went on a wild goose chase
unwittingly and to be truthfully honest,
yours truly subsequently hoisted himself
with one's (his) own petard
invariably "victimized
or hurt by his own scheme."

Unbeknownst to the writer of these words
if he can connive videlicet
raking in some bucks
and celebrate quaffing White Zinfandel
broadcasting desperate need for moolah
other than by a rebel yell
(calling upon necessity,
the mother of invention
to plant seed of acquiescence)
analogous to toss a coin into a wishing well
within the mind of countless readers
who at the least give me credit for trying
to compose prose like freestyle
versus following the dictate
and mandate of say a villanelle
who do not dismiss my cents less twattle
but avoid being dilatory
and lo and behold respond "Mach schnell"
gift mine panic stricken state and quell
such agitation by buzzfeeding
nattering nabob of nativity
paying me in the equivalent
of money strongly resembling
chocolate tin foil covered pizzelle
despite thoughts ricocheting pell-mell
humor the best medicine in a nutshell
in my mind to cope with adversity
never experienced by Matty Mattel
whereat the character "Matty"
from the Mattel logo
not invented by a specific individual;
rather, the character derived
from the name of the company, Mattel,
which itself is a combination
of the names of Mattel co-founders,
Harold Matson and Elliot Handler;
they also agreed to include serrated seal logo,
designed in 1955, featured a small boy
wearing a crown, who got named Matty,
referencing the company's name
which female counterpart
to above toy named "Labelle"
a French term, meaning
"the beautiful one" (feminine)
often used as a nickname,
particularly in the context
of beauty or attractiveness.