An Unsatisfactory Existence

Lying awake in bed again
Mulling over things, as so often-
Not wanting to feel sad
And not quite feeling sad.

He wondered, as so often before,
on the purpose of his life
He had fallen into a half
unsatisfactory routine.

Sometimes wanting company;
Other times thinking
“Leave me alone.
I can do without this”.

He often looked out
from his lounge window
upon a world which
simultaneously called

to him and repelled him
Living alone meant
he received minimal help
And yet…

Would he simply see
any offer of help
as interference?
It would probably depend

On what they did.
His uncertainty about
the world had bred
in him a lethargy:

A tendency to allow
Housework and paperwork
To build up.
It made for an unsatisfactory

Existence and one that
he half wanted to change:
Perhaps though he
lacked the willpower

or desire to do
anything different:
It was, after all only
Half unsatisfactory.

MDC