Another Attempt To Conjecture How I Came Tubby Me

This aggrieved papa
of two progeny, (female)
holed himself in a
rigorously fortified fail
safe impregnable invisible monastery
barely room enough to exhale

decades before their conception,
when I hapt tubby
more hearty and hale,
though robust health a blessing -
this haint no rumored tattletail
inherited, aye oft womb min

eight if my embryonic stage
awaken as exultantly as Faneuil
Hall if late mull late mum's maternal
instincts intuited detail...
when during early/mid
April mcmlviii microscale,

and if reproductive event
(me) swelled her morale
inevitably genetics sported yours truly,
she did not put up for sale
though mentioned bajillion times before,
the psychological travail

inchoate grievous tell tale
manifestation begetting a male,
whose neurological wiring besmirched -
evidenced in throes of boyhood, a jail
assembled incrementally indestructible
dogging paw pa, per entail

ling faux mutt heave puppyhood
bone a fide speculation assail
lent ruff lee size biochemical cell
cuz, ladder post utero development
exhibited tight as coiled spring hightail
ling ordinary bipedal locomotion,

whereat tenseness supposedly prevail
lent to tumble down stairs fail
ling balance even with handrail
explains being somewhat of a numbskull,

where existence analogous to wail
ling human flotsam - buoy lost at sea
rudderless and undermanned,
thus such speculation I avail.