At a Loss

searching for
the right words to say
i'm left at a loss

in my struggle to
convince you
not to call this off 

i would rather
you leave
in peace
than not at all

for
if you are to leave
then please see
the deepest part
of my heart
that i had to reach 

i hope
it gives you clarity
so that one day
you'll find
what you seek

because
what you sought
I couldn't provide 

i denied
myself
too many times
to fulfill
that part of you
that couldn't
be sufficed

i got swept
in the rivers
that you cried...

without a life jacket
I paddled and kicked
but couldn't make it
to the other side

so that we were both
standing on dry land
firm on the belief
that we found
what we need
looking into the sunset
hand-in-hand