Poem -
Bare Bones
The old structure leans, slight pitch to the rightโ
once stout foundations returning to dust.
Wood rib cage exposed, a pitiful sight.
Echoes of screams grow stronger at dusk.
All whitewash is gone, just bleak grey remainsโ
a hearty stone chimney stands at its side.
Coal dust and wood ash have left blackish stains.
Windows stare vacant; theyโve so much to hide.
The plaster is peeling, hanging like death
off old wooden bones, so rife with decay.
No life remains here, devoid of all breath.
Chills creep up my spine the longer I stay.
This hostel of hellโthe home of my youth
now nothing but bare bones, cold and uncouth.
ย
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Comments
The phrasing that makes up the imagery in this VERY well crafted Sonnet is breathtakingly detailed and focused...... bringing the edifice itself to life..... making its Bare Bones a character in and of itself!!.....smokin' grooves dear brother poet!!..... LOVE & ROCKETS !!......T xo ???โดโดโค
I haven't received much feedback on this poem, Tony, for whatever reasons.
Having said that I know I can always count on you for your thoughts and opinions on my work.
As always I deeply appreciate it!
~Dean ??โ๏ธ
You painted this picture well my friend, I could see the foundation crumbling and hear the floors creaking...
My Kid brother owns the house I grew up in, I live there in my old bedroom, sometimes memories get conjured up of my mother calling my older brother Jack and I to help her, she would be drunk and picking a fight with my stepdad, he would lock himself in the spare bedroom, pleading with her to go to sleep, sheโd be relentless... then heโd fly out the door and try and physically control the situation, bad move....
i slept under covers till my late 20โs, a habit I started to muffle out the lunacy...
No matter how deep we're able to bury a potentially bad, life-altering experience they always seem to resurface, coming back to haunt us, at one point in our lives.
So, sometimes we must go to the place those memories were birthed and face them head-on.
That's really what this poem is all aboutโcoming to grips and facing our fears.
Thanks so much for your excellent assessment, my friend.
~Dean โฏโฏ ใ โฏโฏ
This makes me so sad Dean , sad for the memories you have. You have expressed this so well in the house analogy but it is past and now a crumbling ediface..you have new foundationsย that with love you can build on my friend..A sad but excellent piece.
Lodigiana xx
Most members here seem to have avoided reviewing this particular poem like the Bubonic Plague of 13th Century Europe, lodigianaโfor whatever reason.
Who can say for sure?
Which is why I appreciate you taking the time to offer your thoughts on the poem and share them with me.
HUGE HUGS!
~Dean ;)โฅ
You are so very welcome Dean xx
vivid images of a place that once was home now falling apart
Yes, that's the basic gist of this, Sarah.
It's a poem about confronting those experiences in life we'd much rather forget head-on.
Sometimes we must do so to receive closure.
Thanks for reading.
~Dean ?
so true,it was nicely pennedย
so beautifully worded.ย A canvass to the mind
Thank you very much for reading, Greg. I am very grateful for the review.
I apologize for my lateness in replying. I do appreciate your kind comments.
Have a fantastic weekend,
~Dean