Because of you...

"Because of you"
I went from feeling priceless to feeling I have lost everything you said that I was worth. I once had your attention but now you alienate me like I don't even belong on this earth. While running the marathon of life you cheered from the sideline as you stuck out your foot making me trip so I'll never come in first. We were both parched so I shared my last glass of water but in return you're letting me die of thirst. There were so many times I helped you avoid catastrophe. I emotionally gripped my heart in sadness and you just watched me as my cardiac muscle began to atrophy. A feeling of despair arose within me so very rapidly. You vanished from my line of sight as I heard you whisper "I'm not dealing with your tragedy". I try to get your attention but you are treating me like I am at 100% opacity. I can understand now how someone can go from being sane to losing their composure and every ounce of their sanity. None of these things you are doing to me I would do to you, I'll never have that capacity. I have no choice but to embrace solitude which has become my forced reality. I've severed my vocal cords, trying to get your attention yelling out to you I'm screaming like a banshee. Yet it appears that I am an audible silence to your ears, that became clear to see. You stopped reaching out to me making me feel like a castaway permanently lost at sea. I'll never understand why you are passively aggressively trying to convince my mind you're better without me. From a distance you have convinced me you'd be complacent if I disappeared infinitely. My written thoughts are dedicated to all of you whom from your lives have unexplainably made me the only absentee...
Jonathan E. Gonzalez
4/23/2020