FROM A DEDICATED GLOOMIST

A letter written to a friend suffering under a vicious attack of Joviality and good humor.

Dear Sir,

It seems as if, my friend, you have either been attacked by a "Humorous Malicious" virus OR suffered damage to your "funny bone". 
Either way please accept my deepest condolences and wishes for a speedy recovery.
Perhaps this may help.
First make a concerted and serious study of Monty Python’s “School of Silly Walks”. Then follow the example 100 yards per day in a "down town" location.
Then after 7 days if you have not been arrested or committed, you may find the loss of friends and relatives and the ridicule of total strangers salves your "condition" and this unnecessary joviality will cease.

Being a firmly dedicated and entrenched member of the "Guild of the "Dicata Exanimationes Incidamus" I must admit the hilarity you seem to suffer from, under your current malady, seems both painful and malevolent in nature.
I leave you with our Guild's motto;
"Ducats Exanimationes Incidamus In Perpetuum"
I remain your friend, in hope of a speedy recovery and return to “Gloom”, our preferred state of being,
I present the words of the Guilds well known Alma Mater's Anthem

“Gloom, despair and Agony on me,
Deep dark depression, excessive misery,
If it weren’t for bad luck,
I’d have no luck at all,
Gloom, despair and Agony on me,
B. Owens, and R. Clark esq