Car Salesmen Make Good Congressmen

Used car salesmen make good Congressmen because they're both crooks.
I own a used car lot and if you buy from me, you're going to get took.
When we look at the world, we see that things are a mess.
I'll probably make it worse because I'm running for Congress.
Used car salesmen and Congressmen sure don't get any praise.
If elected, I'm going to increase taxes and give myself a pay raise.
I'm so dishonest that people get goosebumps when I'm near them.
My idiotic son became a doctor and gave me a dose of truth serum.
I can't lie and the truth is that I roll odometers back.
When I sell lemons to people, they always attack.
I've received many broken bones and contusions because of the lemons that I've sold.
If I'm elected, I'll steal money from Social Security because i hate people who are old.
The Sodium Pentothal hasn't worn off yet and I have some advice for you and you'll agree.
If you want to deal with somebody who's honest, don't buy any of my cars or vote for me.