Chains

This poetry is sweet, envious, hateful, lost 
Sometimes I don't know how to express,
This is not a game , 
Hate in my heart love in my mind, 
I'm not truly going insane, 
My need to feel love within my soul is causing me to fade away,
The way I really feel about past feelings makes me not want to stay, 
It's as deep as a tree with roots that go straight down to the core of nutrients 
It feeds the negative and won't leave 
My life for me is good for now until I open another door, 
Signs that the days are getting shorter 
Stress more than usual paying bills are just an empty property
Is there more life to this chained reality