Changed Forever ( Dedicated to Cherie Sumner)

He said we should play “house”

I didn’t know what he had in mind

I trusted him and got lost in the game

We went down the dark alley where we were neither seen nor heard

I had no premonition of what was ahead

Suddenly, I was pinned against the wall

Helpless and weak

I wept and pleaded but he was past caring

He was stronger than I, so there was nothing I could do

He used my body and ignored my soul that resides in it

With every thrust, a part of me he took

He violated me and torn a part of me

Years passed by, but I’m still living in the past

I hated me for letting it happen but I was only a child

I tried to bury the memories but they always rear their ugly heads

Staring me in the face even after all these years

I wish I could put that  night behind me and pretend it never happened

But even if I do, my body and soul still bears the scars

It’s strange how a moment of lust has altered my life completely

It looks as if my life had been rearranged and nothing looks the same anymore

It has changed how I think, and see my reflection

It has bruised my self esteem and forced me to live is isolation

He got away with it for

I couldn’t speak out for shame 

Even if I do who would believe me?

He was revered and praised as a fine young one

Many mothers wished  to have his kind

If only they knew the monster behind the lovely façade

It hurts that I can’t take back what he took from me

My innocence is gone and gone forever

I’ve been emotionally and physically damaged

My heart has been bruised

No one understands the pains and psychological trauma

I’ve been forced to live with all these years

Am I ever safe?

Can I ever love again?

Can I ever trust again?

My life has been changed forever but for all I know, I not a victim but a SURVIVOR!