Conditional Submission
It is but a human condition
A way to see what is true.
A mutual type of submission
______________________________
It just takes a little admission,
With heart to follow it through.
It is but a human condition
__________________________
A losing of all inhibition,
Adding much more to the brew.
Just needing a little submission,
________________________________
It's not a desire for permission,
Or anyone others clue.
It is but a human condition
_____________________________
Somewhat it’s a state of transition,
A feeling, not coloured blue.
A mutual type of submission
______________________________
It is but a sweetheart-ed mission,
To find a way to construe.
It is but a human condition
A mutual type of submission
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Comments
Wry, clever, funny...but best of all...very, very true!! In all its subtle shades of meaning.
I love the way you are not afraid to challenge yourself in the classic forms and mine gold where so many others see only dust.
A vivacious and vital villanelle!!!
J xxxx
Thank you my lovely poetic friend, as always you are very kind xxx
Such an impressive portrayal of attraction in an interesting format !!
Keep up the great work ! :)
Take care. Love and hugs !
xx
Thank you Richard, very much appreciated :) x
:)
x
Hi Lorna, you are showing the other side of you!! Great write!!
thanks Leah xx
Hey MISS CAIZLEY!!......Salvador Dali is one of my favorites of ALL!!!.......I love the way you used your metering here to sing as a Villanelle (as Jason pointed out)....... BEAUTIFULLY conceived...... but the care taken in phrasing gives this a VERY lyrical flow.......STUNNING is the first word that popped into my mind ......perhaps because you did DALI justice here....... or just that I believe it's your finest work to date....... either way.......I had to PIN this ........smokin' grooves sister poet........smokin' ass grooves!!.......LOVE IT!!....... your friend and admirer!!......T xo. ?✳✴☀
Ps. I have done many writes just because his paintings speak to me...,,.I think he'd be quite pleased to read what you've created here....... hugs-n-smiles....T xo
Tony, You have just made my day!!! Thank you so much...
I Love Salvador Dali, I was supposed to be visiting the Dali Museum in Gerona, this summer, but unfortunately it hasn't worked out as planned!!
Hopefully next year!! :)
Love
Lorna xxxx
Hey CAIZLEY!!......hope you make it next year...... gotta say....... I'm a little jealous.......I have been to most countries in the world and seen many highlights.......BUT OH HOW I would be overjoyed to visit there...... he hung out with some of the coolest minds ever....... and his work is unparalleled......... you go girl........ this world has SO much to offer......I see great things in your future.........hugs-n-high fives!!..........T xo. ?✳✴☀♥
I hope so too!...I've been to Girona before but didn't have time to do all of the things i wanted...It's a beautiful place!! And very much worth a visit, even just for the architecture and of course the weather!!
Us Brits don't see much in the way of sunshine!!
Lorna
Xxx
I love the format of this poem..It's gorgoeus...
"It is but a sweetheart-ed mission,
To find a way to construe.
It is but a human condition
A mutual type of submission"
It's not all about comformity..It's a mutual submission....One we can't really explain when asked to...Well done Lorna
Thank you Rose, You are right...Love is all confusing with mutual insanity thrown in for good measure...a one that you both have to submit to xx
There is an edge in this person
That only you know of,
The reader is left speculating
And this is a wonderful place to be
An effective poem is open for interpretation -
Enjoyed very much Lorna.
Luv from Jai :)?
Thanks Jai, I really appreciate your comments, and happy to leave you speculating :)
Lorna
Ooh! That was a shock to first see how you formatted this work Lorna.
Will it work in what it has to say and how it's presented? Damn right it will!!
Respect what you have said and the way its message loops around and one can't escape it.
Like informative ripples in a pond spreading out and always dwelling in the human condition, just like a heartbeat.
Love what you have said here and how you have said it.
For its always good to change the format from time to time and what a great well written and imagineered result!
Full honours and my respect for daring to do so.
A great write and poem.
Thank you Lorna for brightening my evening :) x.