Crazy Thoughts

Children laugh four hundred times a day
We adults at the most laugh fifteen
Try to copy these young whipper snappers
But watch you don't rupture your spleen

The biggest predictor of love is proximity
That makes a whole lot of sense
If your lying next to an unclothed woman
Sexually you might feel a bit tense

According to the latest poll about habits
Men shower more often than women
That's a really charming romantic statistic
Who cares if they're stinkier than men

The world's tallest man was eight foot eleven
Passed away at the age of twenty-one
Looked down his nose at almost everything
'Cept giraffes who couldn't be outdone

Women supposedly mature faster than men
But they surely don't have as much fun
We will still be acting like a bunch of yahoos
When they close the lid and we're done

Women really excel at parking a car
On the freeway it's a whole different matter
While putting on makeup at 80 miles an hour
The main concern is blood splatter

A whole big batch of Valentines are exchanged
You would think I'd get more than one
But imagine if the one card that I did receive
Was from Jennifer Aniston