Cross-Eyed

Have you ever needed to go so bad
That your eyeballs start to cross
Your back teeth began to float around
You're memory's a total loss

It happens to us chappies quite a lot
It's the way we usually react
When downing a dozen cold ones
Too blitzed for making tracks

We put it off till we almost burst
Afraid to make sudden moves
But finally, we chance it and off we go
We're sure glad to get to the loo

Then back we go to drink some more
Eyes are no longer aligned
We end up at somebody else's table
With a different bunch of asinine

We keep on drinking a few more hours
Till we've all had a boatload too much
They kick us out about three A.M.
Babbling in what could have been Dutch!