"Cry me a river"

First and for most,

I got a story to tell,

and where I end up,

I hope it ain't hell.

You see when I was,

just a cute little boy,

my papa he bought me,

a cute little toy.

But unlike all other fathers,

mine was pretty smart,

and what he bought,

wasn't for the faint at heart.

And with this new toy,

came a long life lesson,

and as he sat and gave it,

it came with his blessing.

You see today is a new day,

Tomorrow I'll need to hide,

Yesterday, I used the toy he gave,

Unfortunately another man died.

Ducking, dodging marked bullets,

Wandering under dark skies,

A trail marred from destruction,

and all the carnage, feeds the flies.

But little did I come to know,

Or soon will come too care.

The nightmares, that now awaits me,

Even after i have said my prayer

This toy has brought me enemies,

my friends farther then near,

last night outside of my window,

I caught sight of my own fear.

My mind plays tricks on me,

and yet, little did I know,

I got into this fight last night,

but with my own shadow.

night sweats stain my pillow,

tossing and turning nightly in bed,

Wishing I could sleep at night,

and remove the voices in my head.

Tonight a river runs through it,

now I cry for all the loss,

All sleep has now eluded me,

Papa's present I had to toss.

The sins of their fathers, is upon them,

No longer shall i Spare the rod,

Tonight I bath you in tears and blood,

For i am the punishment of God.

a bargain, they made with the devil,

so I count the hours, that I lay awake,

If suicide, would be the train they ride,

another life, I wouldn't have to take.

About this poem: A youngster given a gun by his father at an early age of his life, who becomes drawn into an obsessive world of intrusive thoughts of retribution, without any means of pending guilt, in order to avenge the death of his slain father/martyr. Whereby, seeking out and taking the lives, of all wrong doers, within his waking path.........