Dark Night

Dark Night

Donning the cloak of self-reflection,
I steer myself into the blackest night.

Demons soar, angels fall,
And the wine turns sour with anger.
I repent to ghosts, bear the shame,
Know my sins, accept the blame.

But who am I now without this skin?
This inky black residue of who I have been?

The mirror is empty now that I have disappeared.
Pain is the reflection, a lifetime of acceptance,
That bears no name, but once was me,
A girl, a person aiming for consciousness.

The veil fell once, with a bang, but lifts with a whisper,
To reveal the secrets of ego’s ambition.

Now, I feel empty, devoid of life,
As evil sinks its teeth deep, it sucks out all the light.
I believe there is beauty, just there outside the rim,
Of slithering imperceptions, lingering sin…

“Forgive yourself” a voice whispers sweet,
Upon my bare breast that wants to bleed.

“I do not know how”, I cry out in pain,
Resentment, irritation, and humiliation cast their gain.
Smothering blackness seeps into plague,
I feel trapped, abandoned, smothered in shame.

“Trust,” the voice whispers, a caress on my tears,
I let myself float in the void, asleep, accepting defeat.

Light starts to flicker, a flame in the dark,
It is soft, barely visible, but it is a loud spark.
Warmth seeps into my numbing limbs,
Breath encapsulates and expands my ribs.

“I want to let go,” I wearily sigh.
Too exhausted to fight or even to try.

“Too much beauty to waste,” the voice implies,
As a wave carries me upward toward the burning sky.
Sunlight peeks over the horizons edge,
I am suddenly filled with light once again.

Golden warmth embraces me strong,
I look down and weep, watching dolphins breech the dawn.

I do not comprehend, but feel fire in my veins,
As light returns cleansed of the long darks pain.
The reflection returns in a mirroring cloud,
Wholly complete, within and without.

“Is that really me?” I reach towards the light,
Burning white, gold, burning so bright.

“Awake, dear one,” the voice thunders loud
Lightening flicks to my fingers from the reflecting cloud.
I spasm and gasp, awakened from the past,
The darkness of ego has released me at last.

If you don the cloak of darks self-reflection,
Remember this telling and let it be the lesson.

To accept ascendance from the depths of false belief,
We must first see the demons, the sins we repeat.
It hurts, it burns, it skins us from within, but….
Through this process, we can awake, renewed, reborn again.

Blessings Dear Heart
RRG © 2.17.21

https://psychcentral.com/pro/recovery-expert/2017/08/healing-the-abandonment-wound#1