Desensitized

She
wanted
me
to
speak,
but my words were few
and those that
formed on my lips
fell,
drifting
down
like snowflakes falling,
icy
and cold.

She
wanted
me to
feel,
yet
there
was
nothing left
but a
vacancy in my chest
where
my heart
use to reside inside;
for I am
now
left undone
and her
judgment and doubt of me
has left me
feeling
life
less,
and
I
am
now
numb.

Not wanting to think or feel.
Empty and void
depleted of emotions.
Your words;
empty anesthetics,
lesions and
breaches
leaving me
wide open and exposed;
now
needing to be
put back together,
stitched up and sewn.

I use to tingle when I listened
to your voice through your words,
but now I am left with residue from
the remnants of old scar tissue.
You picked me up again,
only, and only, and only
to let me down again.
I am lost in the chasm,
deep down within
the
inner recesses
of what used to be
a smile,
a gesture,
a image.

The reduced sensation from your being
has left me unbalanced and
unable to comprehend.
I am restless and falling;
always in a constant state of sleep.
You
have
now
become my phobia,
my
neurosis,
Paralysis emphasized...
and the little that was left of me...
which I thought was
strongly guarded,
has left from me,
For
I
am
numb.

©Notelttil Enyawd

"Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life, some people that we keep out, they are not meant to be let back in. Man or woman, above all else, will disappoint... will
tear you down, and sometimes unbeknownst to you, Love...hmmph... inevitably, is blind!