Did You Know Goldens Can Talk

When us dogs lie there and stare up at you

What do you think we're thinking

Are we thinking whatever you say I agree with

Because you feed us every day without fail

We don't have hands, these paws are useless

For opening bags or cans

Tried biting the lid off early last month

Needed stitches, trouble eating for quite a while

What! Are you surprised we know what a month is

I'm not just your average pet you know

I'M A GOLDEN RETRIEVER

We're a special breed, just want all humans to know that

Us guys should be treated like royalty

We love everybody and don't mean to knock people down

We get a little over excited at times

Mean no harm, hoped your stay in the hospital

Would be short and you'd come out as good as new

Us dogs... sorry, us Goldens are a special breed

We don't associate with other less sophisticated breeds

Well, now that I've completely blown your mind

Perhaps next time we talk you'll have recovered

One thing before I go mute again

It'll be enough when wifey finds out I can talk

So I wont't tell her about what I saw in the hospital

About the way you were ogling all the dear nursey-poos

For an extra bone and a sufficient amount of doggie treats

I'll keep this OUR little ole secret

WOOF! WOOF!