Drinking with the lads

There's a game that I play back home with the lads,
You need a console, a TV and two Xbox pads
Change the settings on FIFA and get loads of beer,
Then sit back and relax and let carnage appear

If you've played it before you'll know what it's about,
And you'll know that we play it before we go out, 
So gather round kids and let me tell you the tale,
Of this one game of 'Pearler' between Edwards and Dale

They agree random teams as dan pops his first bottle cap,
He sits back takes a swig and gives the X button a tap,
He looks over at dale, says "I'm gonna own ya"
Dale looks up from his phone and Dans got Barcelona

Though we've decreased shot error and increases shot speed,
It's still a half decent team that your going to need,
Dale presses the X and pops his first bottle lid,
We've got an El Classico, Barca V Real Madrid

They've kicked off, Benzema, di Maria, di Maria switches to Bale,
The next thing you hear is a shout, "pearler" from Dale
Pearler isn't a mode that requires much skill,
We're only two minutes in and he's made it 1-0,

Iniesta's on he passes but can't find his man,
Only 15 minutes in and it's looking sloppy from Dan,
Alonso picks up the ball but he's 30 yards out,
Dale still takes the shot but he forgets to shout,

Pinto dives and he misses and the balls in the net,
But the rules state forget calls and you finish your wet,
That's the first 6 minutes over but it feels like more,
Dales had three bottles and Dan has had four,

He's put two past Dan now and his leads looking healthy,
Dale picks up his phone, and snapchats a selfie!
 

It's the second half now and Dan puts up a fight,
Jordi alba plays a long ball out to Xavi on the right,
Xavi passes to pedro and awaits the back pass,
But Pedro gives it out wide to Cesc Fabregas,

With pressure from Pepe he picks out Messi with a cross,
Who with the touch of a god nutmegs Ramos,
He fires it past Lopez and now Dan has one,
And I know we've changed the settings but take a bow son,

The game carries on and Dans sure he can win it,
But he'll have to work fast it's the 80th minute,
Dan brings up the menu and goes ultra attackin',
Ten seconds later it's two all and he's back in,

Everyone was up, Busquets laid it on for Neymar,
He hit it first time but rattled it off the crossbar,
As the ball bounced out Xavi came into sight,
He hits it home with a decent volley on his right,

93rd minute now Dale fucks up Lopez's throw,
It lands at di Maria's feet who's dispossessed by Mascherano,
He plays a through ball to Messi and Ramos gives chase,
But Messi's rated higher and he does him on pace,

He's one on one now and Dans shouting "come on you cunt"
He double taps the right stick to play the ball out in front,
Dale brings out his keeper as Messi races to it,
Dan presses right trigger and B and puts his fucking laces through it,

The ball flies over the keeper and hits the top right corner, 
Dan looks at Dale and says "mate I did warn ya"!