Excuses! Excuses!

They prepare their legends in advance,
With a fake cough, splutter and sneeze.
Feigning many maladies and ailments,
Using ill-gotten time off as they please.
I won't be able to come to work today,
For I have dizzy and hazy hallucinations.
I've caught a dose of that Amazon Fever,
And I haven't been there in generations.
I'm ringing on behalf of my hubby,
He's done his back in yet again.
Please ignore any Facebook pics,
Of him parachuting out of a plane.
So sorry to inform everyone there,
It's impossible to make it in today.
For I've sold my soul to evil Lucifer,
Whose come to collect without delay.
I CAN'T HEAR A WORD YOU'RE SAYING!Β
MY EARDRUMS HAVE BEEN BLOWN OUT!
PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR SHOUTING!
BACK IN A YEAR OR THERE ABOUTS!
Excuses, excuses, the lies are piling up,
Fairy tales that shame the Brothers Grimm.
Absurd, so unbelievable and incredulous,
Read like a mantra, songbook and hymn.
I'm simply not coming to work today,
I'm fed up and just don't give a damn.
These are the words you never hear,
Real reasons behind a workshy scam.

Support CosmoFunnel.com
You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.
Comments
Some people in my family that own a business can't get anyone hired because they want stock options, summers off and three day work weeks in an entry level dress shop! lol! another nail on the head write Shaun!.........................................................................Jim
Β Jim, it sounds like Rumplestiltskin asking for a first born if everything goes south. Some people ask for the world and everything in it, when they should be content with what they have and count themselves fortunate on that front.
Thanks Jim for your superb comment and about those three day weeks and those stock options...hhmm!
Shaun!!! Lol...sorry but it made me laugh. Brilliant write ...beautifully written. I can sense the frustration and even a little anger in this write and its so refreshing to hear someone say it like it is lol...X
Marion glad you saw the intended funny side and you would scream your head off viewing certain attendance sheets where I work, laughable and lamentable.
Some people have had nearly two years off with Covid restrictions on full pay also and are busted by Facebook membership and links uploading pictures of themselves climbing up Pen-y-fan mountain, when allegedly they're poorly and at death's door.
And yes that is true!!! Shit happens!
Glad you're a happy bunny and a smile and a laugh are priceless.
Hugs to you my friend and thank you.
Shaun.x.
Lol...the trick is to definitely NOT post on Facebook πππ
Β Marion, tell that to the criminally insane working on their tans!!π
PS...Shaun have you read The Cormorant by Mark Olcott on here? He wrote it a while ago and he hasn't been on in ages but its well worth a read. I know you appreciate good poetry and I can honestly say it's one of the most beautiful worksΒ I have ever read....take a look xx
Marion just had a much needed cuppa and yes I will check outΒ The Cormorant by Mark Olcott on your say so and will be catching up on more of yours later tomorrow night.
Thanks for the heads up on said poem front and an interesting one to view.
Shaun.x.
Ahha fantastic poem on shirking work excuses and alibis, the parachuting fb pics lol so humorous.Β Kudos for this unique topic poem.
Plz also read and comment my newest poem too.
S.zaynab.kamoonpury thanking you kindly for your gracious words.
Please forgive this late reply.
And I will read your latest and will do it now.
Hmm a lot of emotional baggage shown here , In between the lines .
.....,....&/&/$#@)(+!***)
I dearly hope life is treating you kind.
Don't give up sir .
You have a most beautiful mind .Β
π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦
One day of personal power you shall find peace of paradise
Just a touch ,a touch of paradise.
I hope you find that someone nice .Β
You deserve it.
Your extremely humble, cuddle able and intelligent two .Β
Many blessings to you.
Β
Liliana thanking you there most kindly and please forgive this lamentable late reply, for I've been ill or have I !!!
Seriously though, thank you again and am now back and haven't seen the word cuddle able for quite some time.
Good to know and many blessings to you as well.
Haven't seen you on here so I thought I'd check out your page. So glad I did...this poem is brilliant π€£π€£π€£Β There's a lot of people out there like that x
Tina thank you for stopping by and your most generous comment and you hit the absentee nail on the head with your words there.
There seem to be droves of them.
For they are sadly legion.
Anyway just proving to you I most surely am the late reply master on here and surely up for some glittering award.
Or the Cosmo thumbscrews come out, hand crafted by irate members I've yet to reply to.
Wishing you well my friend and thanks again. x.
Hey .. you just went and poemed a treatise on one of what must be my biggest bugbears .. it doesn't happen often, or as far as I know all the time, but when it does .. my word, you could and probably have heard me cuss from across the water sir .. and wots more, you inked it in such a way that I couldn't help but chuckle into my porridge ..
Oh' and during my forthcoming absence, I'll happily send anyone who is wondering, a postcard from the Algarve with my bosses cell phone number to check whether I'm legit or not ................ Neville :)Β
I did hear you cuss Nev and what choice colourful language you did wrathfully incur.
Haven't heard language like that since that notorious Sex Pistols interview.
Better out than in and please postcard me your bosses phone number for I'll ring him at 3.00 A.MΒ every early morning the next Algarve holiday you have.
Saying isn't it good to talk. (Thanks to the late Bob Hoskins for that one.)
Β And this is a late reply and apologies for that and if it finds you, well done good sir on your Cosmo contest achievement :)βοΈ
Β
The truth is supposed to
set you free, unfortunately most fear the repercussions of the truth. Some donβt feel comfortable as the real reason may seem like a weakness or they feel they are jeopardizing their job. I blame the culture behind it, since COVID I think mental-health has became way more relevant and understandable but still light years away from fully being understood. Very relatable and relevant write. Β Β
Wise words of wisdom and how right you are in what you say, for down the rabbit-hole we plunge repeatedly and it is every time a mystery.
Thank you for visiting and your generous comment to make one think and take stock of themselves and many others.Β