FUEL

Filled with emotions ranging from A-Z
the past to blame for the bad ones
No need to worry they can cure them
medications for each one from A-Z
The more you think the more you drink
fuel produced from these thoughts
Propelling your thoughts into actions
and leaving yourself with regrets
Fuel your grief with a prescribed pill
don't mind the side effects it brings
Now your same thoughts of trauma
are diluted to even less of yourself
But no one can seem to understand
how you became this way or why?
The only time you smile it is forced
you find happiness in being numb
You rather feel nothing at all than pain
so you keep doing as the doctor says
A pill for a problem and a pill for that pill
because it causes more problems too
Side effects of cures for other problems
before you know it you're a pill head
Bottles and bottles all with your name
and special instructions for each one
Some contradict each-others directions
but you feel you have to take them all
Take twice daily on an empty stomach
one says on the label in bold letters
The other states take as needed daily 
but only after eating a complete meal
You cannot truly remember all of this
regardless you take them all at once
Many years of this reliance and routine
and truthfully you forget the fuel for it
Your reasoning behind the first medication
nor why you got prescribed many more
Fuel to your mind from the comfort of drugs
you don't really even know yourself at all
Everyone around you fuels your confidence
because on paper your health is all good
You're no better than you ever were before
but you're not your emotional self anymore
Is this really healthy and a sustainable life
I ask myself for you as I want you to heal
Knowing with support and strength you could
work to fix yourself and actually feel good
But we both know truly it's way to late for that
because the pills have fueled dependency
Without these prescribed medications 
you wouldn't know what to do
That's the part that really kills me
and fuels my motivation
To try to work on myself naturally 
proving it is not impossible
Regardless the degree of trauma
it just takes time and patience
But the doctors and hospitals
would go out of business
The big drug companies
would lose their asses
There's no profit 
in self help
That’s what they want