FUNNY UK TOWNS

My man Chester is a real good mate
He eats old ham well past the sell by date 
The new castle he says looks totally great 
While the new port is in a terrible state 

I'm having fun you'll see with towns in the UK 
A play on words I think you could possibly say
Barnet is slang for the hair on your head 
While Barrow is used to help with a garden bed 

Leeds help your car should it fail to start 
Crewe on board a ship assist with it to depart 
I will go now for a swim in the black pool 
Meeting Don Caster which is rather cool