Gloriously "FAKE" Early Boyhood

Yah, ma brew their,
and American sister golden hair -
afar and away
book as aye ken ream hem bar,

yea when yar whiz jist a bay
bee, hun me
verily hoppy goo
loo key lil boy whar 'r each day

o'r flowed with giddiness oot nar the
secluded Harris estuary
frolicked amidst muscled shoals
gnome hatter sky turned

f'ty shades o' gray
hawk cool when
barf heat squished sand
hall lung pristine beach hooray

ah...those memories (hmm...oh...well)
wii ch war newt mine,
boot bar rowed fur room Jay
son and argonauts cave his Oh kay

seance ah waz tip poor
tuff ford me own may
mar ease, noon thee lass nay
var tha lease, aye fain tis eyes hub boat

hoof "FAKE" sea
yuck rat passageway
along tha loon lee coo west
hove yar hug quay

thee pass sea if 'ick Ou shin sum
moo with as ray
dee aunt gull lass oon lake now win me
daughter ring auld age aye

wharf heal moss elf ill eagle
red dee tug hoe bye
bye, cuz hive eel
emotionally frenzied, harried,

and jangled as if
o'er dost hay'n reedy to die
on barb bit char writs eye
lichen to a class five

Saffir-Simpson Hurricane, no...no...no...
methinks oh pen hee van
thar iz a big oop stares "guy"
seen 'm once, when we booth said "Hi"

aye whiz juiced up t'har - me no lie,
what, a stripling lad,
(thus jist man hedge gin my
flat hand outstretched wheel nigh

fin gars call loess tug getter try
tou pet yar palm awk
coo pull hove feet
fur him tha floor),

now (NOT FAKE) chalk
wii ch hide id hawk
daring ma prime er skool daze
didst slip smooth white
totally tubular woo din

lock (like) thin small
round joint long stalk
con vein y'ant lee a'signed
tuck clap 'race ears oot side den maze
wen axed bite t'eat char, me Noah talk!