GRAY'S CALAMITY

Who’s the fella
Who named the genitalia
Could he have coined any words
That could possibly sound any worse?
He certainly wasn’t a poet
Who composed in rhythm and verse
 

It must have been Charlie
Author of ‘Gray’s Anatomy’
His prudent Victorian sensibilities  
Resulted in names are embarrassing
And even sound a bit ugly
 

Albeit the name of the female design
Vagina; I hate the word vagina
For what does it rhyme with?
"Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, nausea!"
 

Such a pretty pink place
Should have a warm and snuggly name
Not be called something that reminds
One of infections or shame  
 

And the word ‘penis’
What’s up with that?
No pun intended
But he couldn’t have named it
Anything else
That would sound less inanimate
 

That little devil
With a mind of his own
Should be called something exciting
Something a bit frightening
Making the bearer proud
When it makes his gal
Shutter and moan
 

A cute frisky nick name, like
 

Tallywhacker
Cheek smacker
Tinker boy
Her Toy
Billy Bob
Lap Dog
Or,
Magic Dong
Whish-Were-long
Kosher Porker
Thong Opener
Tonsil Tickler
Sigh! Master
 'The Inflatable Edible Tastily Incredible, Me'
 

ANYTHING….but Penis
You prude prig
Victorian Genius!