Hell

How I settled it was the harshest way I could have and most likely lands me at hell’s gate,
               I’ll probably end up beside the devil himself and his throne of hate.
But to me it set me free from what you had over me,
               For now, that you’re in pain and I am free.
I despise myself that I had to hurt you in order to feel this way,
               After this you couldn’t care if I lived or sat and began to decay.
That’s what hurts me, the person I have become of this, some man or devil,
               I’ve made myself to lose or gain depending the way you look at which way I level.
I still told you I wish you the best and that still holds true,
               But my actions don’t hold my words for what they are due.
What I’ve done means no more becoming friends and our friends are divided,
               Even those who I thought would stick with me have gone against me, not my sided.
This monster of me is nasty, that I know,
                I also feel like this is the first step to become what I couldn’t when with you, that short time ago.
For new me will make new friends and already have but also let old ones go,
               For they chose you, that I don’t blame yet the feelings for you will never again show.
I thought this was a battle for my mental, and it was for me,
               Even though you’ll never think of me with that feeling again of glee.
Now I must go to my future is waiting,
               That goes for you too, we both must do a lot of creating.
Goodbye, farewell, and best of luck,
               Even with these knifes that we put into each other that will never be unstuck.