Poem -

How The Grinch Didn't Steal Christmas

How The Grinch Didn't Steal Christmas

Last year, the Grinch stoleΒ the presents and my Christmas tree.
This year I'm making that green freak pay for what he did to me.
I've been turning the Grinch every way but loose.
What I'm doing would shock even DR. Seuss.
When he opened my door, his head got burned by a blowtorch.
Now his head has third degree burns because it is scorched.
I put a plank on the floor with nails sticking out.
He just stepped on those nails and the entire neighborhood can hear him shout.
If you could hear his naughty language, this poem would be Rated R.
He's green and furry so he can't be Human, maybe he came from Mars.
I made an iron fall on his head and I'm pelting his head with bricks.
The Grinch is giving up and leaving, he knows when he is licked.
I got myΒ revenge and IΒ got it all on myΒ own.
You may be wondering how I did those things, it's because I'm a fan of Home Alone.

Like 1 Pin it 0
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Poem -

Polly

Dedicated to Polly Holliday (1937-2025) who died on September 9...

Polly

She starred as a waitress who was always jolly.
She was very talented and her name was Polly....

Poem -

John Brown's 55th...

Dedicated to John W. Brown (1970-2019) who died on June 3, 2019

John Brown's 55th Birthday

Today would've been his birthday but he didn't survive.
If John hadn't died, today he would've...

Poem -

My Wife Became A Carjacker

My Wife Became A Carjacker

My damn wife makes me so mad that I want to smack her.
She turned to crime after she chose to become...

Latest poems in Comedy, Limerick

Poem -

Mine mean Lothario days...

Mine mean Lothario days left me in a confused daze...

as if being a crash test dummy survivor
after a led zeppelin collided with yours truly,
a foo...

Poem -

HELLO TEAM

HELLO TEAM

Close your eyes...

Breathe...

Now open...

Surprise!

If you're saying......

Poem -

Brisk temperatures at dawn...

Brisk temperatures at dawn and dusk herald incipient early Autumn...

here within southeastern
Montgomery County, Pennsylvania,
encompassing quite a geographic...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com