Poem -

How to attach a shower curtain...

How to attach a shower curtain...

I revisit rather than write from scratch
a poem crafted May twenty third
two thousand and twenty
since the following words apropos
and amply serve a duplicate purpose
of aforementioned title,
when yours truly enlisted
(before any consideration
arose to object
threading shower rings
thru scissor made cuts)
of makeshift shower curtain -
actually repurposed invisibility cloak
then yesterday March 24th, 2024,
therefore husbandly duty
found me swallowing
my pride and prejudice
with sense and sensibility
suffering permanent anatomical
disfigurement, nonetheless
maintaining marital bliss
at steep price despite more or less
musculoskeletal dislocation,
I eagerly, readily willingly confess.

Ideal for someone whose height
trends toward above average
unless you don't object tilting
head back in an effort to gauge
keeping noggin cocked
at ninety degree angle tempering rage.

Yours truly gifted with absolute zero
vertical advantage, hence
mine neck craned back imposing
unpleasant strain forcing gent's
head apropos regarding yours truly
futile attempt present instance.

Carotid arteries perfectly positioned
awaiting Jack Ripper's (imposter) knife
thus mine noodle (property
Matthew Scott) induced physical strife
discomfort courtesy directly
linkedin viz the ole hen pecking wife.

Without complaint, I dutifully accepted
challenge to affix curtain
(essentially meant to keep
shower water splashing bathroom floor)
unbeknownst that threading
a camel thru eye of needle sewing pin

Would be a cinch, but such
blessed lesson acquired thru hindsight
initial task assigned me appeared
straight forward until I saw light
bulbs blind me myopic orbs,
thus in addition to afore stated plight...

Husband material (me) sorely
tested to the max, no matter chore
hardly commenced, which
spurred mental note to refrain pointing
at cumulative mold accretion
heavily visible and unsightly eye sore.

Arch disadvantage, yours truly
not being impressive or particularly tall
and thought not to retrieve sturdy
furniture to boost reach heavenly pole
which plastic hooks suspended
plastic shower curtain over long haul.

Upon figuring out how drape like
appurtenance got held in place crick
would necessitate chiropractor
to realign permanently bent poise kick
started when initially troubleshooting
deceptively easy task, no quick

assignment, though obviously
fashioning plastic hook thru pre cut slot
became clear at expense unintentionally
breaking off "J" portion not
possible to avoid subsequently
uselessly rendered hook even if robot
programmed to complete mission,
yet all told poetically smarts & moxie I got.

Please accept lame attempt (minus
obvious sensibility) to comprehend
anybody who reads previous literary
endeavors considered virtual friend
unconditionally accepts trademark

swiftly tailored harried style I extend
utilizing all manner of quirkiness,
which moost likely spells mein legend
after I pass from temporal plain,
a posthumous johnny come lately bend

ding formalities of English language
writing, yet wondering what strictures
disallow experimenting with poetic genre,
though methinks literature intend
did (art in general) to eternally evolve

without deliberate intention to offend
any die hard who might call upon
men in white suits and briskly recommend
to the funny farm, where life made
more beautiful perchance receiving stipend.
 

Like 1 Pin it 0
Support CosmoFunnel.com

Support CosmoFunnel.com

You can help support the upkeep of CosmoFunnel.com via PayPal.

Log in to leave a comment.
Poem -

No matter I got prescribed...

No matter I got prescribed Glycopyrrolate 2 mg tablets taken four times a day...,

not one drop of sweat
(especially on hot humid and hazy days)
less than a gallon
...

Poem -

Twenty years elapsed since...

Twenty years elapsed since Harriet Harris, née Kuritsky gave up the ghost ~ May 5th, 2004

Often these days
the following genuine sentiment
Matthew Scott Harris
doth wish to...

Poem -

Aol two step verification a...

Aol two step verification a boon to my psyche

plus I batten down the itty bitty hatches
courtesy Avast Random Password Generator,
and keep...

Latest poems in Comedy, Drama, Epic, Freestyle, Speculative

Poem -

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes
I get so confused
I realize the best thing to do
is Nothing at all
...

Poem -

A Poet

A Poet

Let’s just cut to the chase please
none of you are poets
So obviously you can’t criticize me...

Poem -

YOU ASKED

YOU ASKED

Maybe, you already figured out the answer...

Congratulations!

For the ones who have flown...

Advertise on CosmoFunnel.com