I Beat Up Thieves

This may be hard for you to believe.
But I always kick the asses of thieves.
While working at Subway, a man asked for a cup to get some water but he got a coke.
I was fired less than an hour later because that customer's ribs were what I broke.

While working at Walmart. a teenager tried to swipe a video game.
Just because I stomped the crap out of him, I was fired and told that I should be ashamed.
While working at Burger King, a fellow employee took money from the till.
I kicked his sorry ass right then and there and he had to pay a hospital bill.

Because of my violent nature, I'm somebody who many people despise.
When I look people in their faces, they always have hate in their eyes.
Certain people think that beating up thieves is a lousy thing to do.
Just remember that if I ever catch you stealing, I'll kick your ass too.