I can’t forget you

I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. 
I can’t shake off these feelings, I can’t break free. 
U left ur mark, u left a scar & no matter how far we are I can’t forget u!
No matter what I do, no matter what’s new, ur still stuck to me like glue. 
I hate that u will always be a part of me. 
I wish all my memories of u would just fade away because they are at maximum capacity. 
I wonder if this tragedy will ever let me live happily?
I have to be strong & learn to live with this catastrophe. 
It’s funny how different I am now, I had to kill the old me, just another casualty to learn to live in this new reality. 
A new reality without u.
I hadn’t the slightest clue what to do. 
But little by little I starting walking then running but then suddenly u would appear in my thoughts or in my dreams, so I got used to my screams & my eyes that created streams. 
On my bad days I hate my life because u are no longer here. 
& year after year u will always be my greatest failure & my biggest fear. 
Is it wrong that I try to find a little piece of u in every person I meet?
I know I’m messed up & heartless because sometimes I can’t even hear my heartbeat. 
I now know I’ll never be able to forget u 
but maybe I’ll be able to cut down on the deja vu. 
I have to accept that u will always be in my mind to stay. 
I just have to learn to live with it & I’m sure I’ll find a way.