Poem -

I Died Inside

I Died Inside

I observed orange embers glowing as the fires flame was slowing
in the morning she’d be going–going off to find true love.
All the while I can’t help crying–something in me surely dying;
wasn’t our love still worth trying? It’s her face I’m dreaming of.

Cards, it seems, were stacked against us; was our love merely fictitious?
Oh, sweet nectar, so delicious–delicious as bees’ honeycomb.
Now the taste has gotten bitter; stars still shine but do not glitter.
Ah, alas, I did permit her to depart our humble home.

Tears stream down our cheeks in knowing lifeblood of our love quit flowing.
She looked back, her visage glowing, as she said her last Good-byes.
"At the risk of sounding sappy, please, my sweet, always be happy;"
She turned ‘round, one last look at me; that's when all within me dies.

I can’t help but sit and wonder as my heartbeat pounds like thunder
why my heart was cast asunder–now as black as lumps of coal.
Turned to stone, it lies here waiting in my chest whilst I’m creating
walls of ice built, thus debating–will my soul again feel whole?
 

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Comments

author
Lori Mack

Wow! I can feel the pain... well written. 

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author
Dean Kuch

Thanks very much for reading, Lori.
I sincerely appreciate you dropping by to comment on this.
Hugs❣
~Dean ♥💔♥

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author
Tina

What can I say!! Truly, truly beautiful yet, at the same time, heart renderingly painful. You have put across the feeling of acute pain in this poem so very well. It flows ...  straight to the heart 😔  I know it is a terrible thing to have happened but the pain has brought about a seriously good poem... well written as always 😊

Tina x

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author
Dean Kuch

If I could award five stars for a review you would always be one of my first choices, Tina. They are always so spot-on and encouraging.
I'm not sure how this is getting votes for May's Contest, however. I am a little confused about that.
I didn't enter it in the contest, I merely posted it as a regular poem.
Is there some sort of default setting I need to look at to correct this?
I won first place in the January contest during my first month here at Cosmo.
Since I've entered dozens of poems in the contests for the following months and none have been selected, I'm assuming a waiting period must be fulfilled before you're eligible again.
Having said that, I have no idea what criteria is used for the selection of the entries for any given month.
Votes?
Amount of comments and views?
Or is it simply staff's choice?
Thanks again for reading, dear poet.
Hugs to you!
~Dean  ✯✯✯✯✯

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author
Tina

I'm glad you like the reviews!  seriously though I do like commenting on poems that I like and or get something out of.

As for the way the monthly competition runs, I have absolutely no idea. I have my theory but that is all.... so I can't help you with those answers I'm afraid. I usually tick the entry box because it's there and I think why not but I am not seriously competing. Perhaps everything is entered automatically anyway, who knows!  :-) x

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author
Whispering Dream

This piece gave me chills... it is truly heartbreaking and I fully understand where you are coming from, it is devastating. In a second you are an empty shell because your soul/spirit leaves as the one you love just did... 
"Beauty Always Comes With Dark Thoughts" and dark experiences bring those thoughts forward and you have made them into a masterpiece.

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author
Dean Kuch

Thanks, Whispering Dream. I take your comments as the highest of compliments.
Whether delivering chills through romantic poetry or shivers with the darker writing, it's always nice to know something you've written has elicited a response from a reader.
I deeply appreciate it!
~Dean

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author
Tony Taylor

Stunningly well crafted!!..... Beautifully sad!!....... and the poetic melancholy here..... is VERY well delivered.... leaving me to feel the strength from which this was written!!..... only a VERY sensitive soul could write these words!!........PINNED!!.......smokin' grooves brother!!.....smokin' grooves!!.........T xo 👍👍👍✴❤❤✴👍👍👍😊

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author
Cherie Sumner Taylor

Hi Dean, even though this portrays a very sad departure from love and the feeling of dying inside from the loss, I love how honest and genuine it feels....There are so many of us (me included) who have suffered from a divorce, or severing of a relationship.  For me it was the ending of a 19 year marriage that shocked the hell out of me how it went from security to betrayal overnight.   It makes us put up emotional walls as you express here in your poem.  I am pinning this because it is an all too familiar feeling that I can reflect on now, and yet let it be a testament that God still had plans for my life despite the rug being yanked from underneath me.....I know myself much better today than I did when I was married.  It prepared me for meeting Tony and being open once more to let love in. Life looks differently after you have loved and lost for sure!  It changes so much....but I did not allow my heart to stay in bondage to the betrayal.  I have always known I am meant to be in a monogamous relationship and give all I have...It just had to be the right person....You are great at love poems, even when they are more wistful and with regrets and loss....Powerful... Enjoyed. xo ;)

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author
Dean Kuch

Thank you, Cherie.
Perhaps one day I will feel about love as you do. I suppose anything is possible. I know we can be blindsided by love. It can waltz right up to us and smack us in the head, metaphorically speaking, while dropping us to our knees.
However, I devote a lot of time to writing, meeting with publishers and editors for lunch and dinner on future book projects (I don't drink so I don't do bars), walking and playing with Gidget, my beloved canine companion of the past 17 years.
So, I believe it's true when they say writing is a lonely profession.
Thanks so much for reading.
All my best to you & yours,
~Dean  :)

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author
sparrowsong

Hello Dean...

Sometimes, we don't see the signs...

Maybe, we don't want to...

But, if there's a spark left there's hope...

Communication and listening is key...

​​​​Some people forget that no one's perfect...

​​​​​I have heard people say they've changed...

They're not the person I fell in love with...

Of course there's going to be change...

Another key is as long as there's a spark stay out of the rut...

Forgiveness can also be tested...

Great and sad write!

Thank you for sharing...

Hugs...

sparrowsong

 

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author
Dean Kuch

You see, that's what bothers me still, to this very day, about my marriage break-up, Sparrowsong.
My wife and I got along great. Not a day went by that we didn't tell each other "I love you." We went out together, dancing, dining, etc.
One "date"she got to pick and the next was my turn.
We had a fabulous time together.
We were and had always been intimate over the course of our entire marriage, right up until the day she left.
So, if there were signs, even subtle ones, I could understand.
But that's just not the case.
I was blindsided by what felt like a Peter Built semi truck hitting me fully loaded head on while speeding down the highway.
It caught me completely off guard.
In fact, her family, as well as my own, were just as stunned as I was.
I still communicate with her family. They are good people and still consider me a part of their family.
I'm very grateful for that.
~Dean

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author
sparrowsong

Hello Dean...

That's the worse...

No explanation and no one had any answers...

I'm very sorry you went through that...
​​​​​​
Hugs again...

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author
Michelle Booy

Aww I'm sure you'll find Havana. The joys of the wilderness. We get lost in our own thorns.

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