I know

I'm so mentally messed up,
But nobody listened to my story,
I know it could be worst,
but that doesn't mean I can't feel pain,
I'm sorry I messed up,
But I still need  help,
I know my brother is still here,
But it doesn't wipe the memory of him holding a gun too his head,
I know you're depressed too,
But you tell me to be positive,
Am I not aloud to feel upset too,
I know people get mad,
But I guess that means I can't be mad at my own blood tells me to eat a bullet for the music I listen  to
Am I not aloud to have my own music preference
But you tell me I have a perfect life
I guess if you say I do,
But do I really?
You say I have everything hand to me,
But its only because nobody believes I can make it on my own,
You lost your friend in 5th grade 40years ago,
But I'm not aloud to cry for a 15year old friend I lost during the summer, in 7th grade,
I guess  I have to be numb to the world.