If I died today March 2nd, 2020...?

No matter unfulfilled dreams never came true,
nevertheless yours truly doth gladly bid adieu,
where repurposed afterlife (mine) atomic brew
reconfigured, reconstituted, and reconsolidated
out maws of madness, no matter any blues clue
(yea undoubtedly, hypothetically, and admittedly

handy dandy) eventuality matter factly welcomed
neither feeling suicidal, but speculating often anew,
especially imbibing onset of early spring afternoon
googling Mother Goose nursery rhyme think Kudzu,
(albeit metaphorically) roots kickstarted scant hours
prior to distilling unexpected boyhood memory flew

out lift wafted subconsciously banked boyhood bliss
naively innocent childhood before depression grew
bathing, steeping, drenching psyche impossible exit
to escape apathy, delinquency, and insularity to shoo
away deleterious, egregious, ferocious linkedin angst
predominant across avast good n plenti birthdays (true

value underestimated) ineradicable suicidal ideations
(particularly courtesy anorexia nervosa) hide eschew
permanent stunting emotional, physical, and spiritual
integral vitally webbed no fly zone compromising zoo
wool logical garden variety generic specimen Homo
sapien, one poker face Earthling born this way screw

shh he hating self - fostering longing toward deathly
hallows, which outlook averse to quickening Matthew
Scott Harris nsync with grim reaper, and matter fact
bolstering body, mind and spirit whereby altruistic rue
dement tree random acts of kindness infuse being alive,
particularly beset with psychological history in pursue

went of existential fatalistic nihilism apathetic regarding
optimal inchoate development while in utero stuck poo
poo wing me barely relishing gamut of pleasantries stew
wing within vegetating goulash (mush applicable chew
festering childhood's end into young adulthood) eating
je nais se quois healthy propensity esprit de corps crew

shall whereby maximization of gifted abilities shrugged
off (Atlas) suddenly experiencing consciousness brew
witting habituation feeling inadequate counting scores
notching chronological occupancy contingent since moo
knee decades elapsed, whereby cow whirring behavior
found geeky, nasally, and scrawny boy intimidated who

scared of his own shadow allow, enabling, and providing
perfect (no kidding naysaying) scapegoat fodder burr roo
till, short and nasty trolling ogres appeased appetite foo
fighting harmless lad (me) hurling fiendishly destructive
name calling (cruelly, relentlessly, and wickedly) be ewe

toughly heaping shear insults and sheepishly lambasting
second progeny singular son begat seminal viscous glue
embedding, latching, coalescing pinteresting stronghold
nsync ova riding competing mobile ace swimmers few
tile haploid gametes succumbing to soundless didgeridoo.