If You Die In An Elevator

If you happen to die in an elevator

Be sure to push “UP” before you go

I know a man who surely panicked

Pushed “DOWN”, wound up with Satan below

Tried to explain to Satan what happened

Pushed the “DOWN” button by mistake

The Pearly Gates was where he wanted to go

Begged Satan to give him a break

Said he always had lived an exemplary life

Was kind and generous most times

He once stole some candy from a baby though

But he's tried to put that behind

“Sorry,” said Satan, “I've got hold of you now

Won't let you out of my sight

My rules down here are strict and simple

You pay for your sins forthright!”

“But what if I can guarantee a special treat?”

“What are you offering, my friend?”

“A night of passion with Kim Kardashian”

On his way to Heaven he did wend!